Saturday, 14 May 2011

Eurovision Semi Final 2

And this is the one for the second semi final.

There seems to be a bit more German in this one.

Good old fake miniaturisation, it does give a strange look for Germany.

Bosnia and Herzegovina. For a guy like Dino I wasn't expecting that kind of music. Nice to see the double bass player can play two instruments. I wonder if the triangle requires as much training as the bass. On to the lyrics: 1 to 100/ times by two/ these lyrics are stupid/ but not the tune.
Wave to the audience double bass player and show us that you aren't actually playing on stage.

Austria. Will their phrase be in the Austrian dialect? And will I be able to understand it? The answers: Not that I can tell, Yes. Now we listen to their power ballad. They've gone with the whole "single pretty girl on stage" thing that Lena used very well to win. Except Lena had a fun catchy song whereas Austria see, to be taking this really seriously what with the coating the stage in dry ice thing. Stop being so serious Austria. But then they might win.

The Netherlands. It's another song that I don't care about. Well I think I'll do other things like write "Bosnia and Herzegovina” or run this post through a spell checker since Firefox 4 doesn't seem to have a UK or Australian English dictionary.

Belgium. Ooh another a Capella band. Nice to see German shown on their postcard thing considering that it is an official language of that country. I'm starting to think that Eurovision sucks the life out of songs. I normally like a Capella but I don't really like this, I mean if I had a choice between this and say, Finland's song from yesterday, then I'm going to go with this.

Slovakia. Hang on... you can go surfing in Germany? Really? Since when? Twins. A band name that was chosen because they couldn't be bothered coming up with a proper name. Then again they are good looking so I can forgive the crappy name. I haven't seen any out of place flags tonight, like the Mexican one yesterday. Quickly checking to see if they got through told me that they didn't and that their name is actually TWiiNS which I assume means that they have a sponsorship deal with Nintendo or something.

Oh God the Ukraine. They aren't surprising me with their costume though. And boo Julia, I don't care if Kseniya swam at Manly.

Ukraine. Actually I change my mind; I was expecting the weird shit from them like they had in the last couple of years. Instead it's pretty good song with some interesting sand art that makes up the background.

Moldova. Hey, they've chosen costumes in the style of their eastern neighbour. Except that they aren't weird enough. The song is ok I guess. But I can't get over those hats. Do they need planning permits for them? Or are their reads really shaped like that? And why do we need to know that the lead singer has a monocle.

Sweden. Hmm... Vikings in Köln. I really want to know what that is for. You'll be popular? I'm sure having a giant pokèball on the screen will really make you popular with the ladies. It could be worse though, I could be watching Justin Bieber. I get the feeling that Sweden don't really care this year. See they've just put their singer back in his box for easy transportation back to Sweden.

Cyprus. Another breakup song. Only with traditional instruments. They have weird dancing sperm on the screen. And a girl who is armed with a morning star that isn't spikey. Is she now covered in snakes? Does that count as a costume change?

Bulgaria. Another non-English song. There aren't enough of them in Eurovision. It's also like listening to Pink or P!nk or however it is she spells her name only in Bulgarian.

Macedonia or as Eurovision puts it FYR Macedonia. I think that is what they call interpretive dance. I think. I find this song to be tolerable. Hey an accordion. And then the song turns into some kind of fusion of traditional Slavic music with modern music.

Israel. Will they get through and be guaranteed points from Germany? I don't know considering that their song is called 'Ding Dong'. And now I hear her sing and I say, no. She isn't going to get through. This is a terrible song. Since I can't be bothered with this song I'm going to give a little fun fact. Did you know that the reason the Republic of Macedonia was known as FYROM was because of an issue with the Greeks over the name.

Slovenia. Ooh. Piano-y. The lyrics are quite mainstream. This song will get through. And I think it might do quite well.

Romania. Julia says the song is catchy. is she right? The answer at the end of this section. The music is definitely catchy. The lyrics are very Eurovision.

More commercials, more Schwarzkopf. Probably that Virgin commercial that I didn't get last night even though I should have based on the male to female ratio of the ad.

Oh fuck. Jedward. They deserve to be machine-gunned. Why couldn't they have just shown then Slovak twins.

Estonia. It's like the Estonian version of Glee is filming a Eurovision themed episode. Hey they just changed style. Now I see why Julia said it was like a Rock Eisteddfod act.

Belarus. Jets of fire, it's not like someone hasn't done that before *rolls eyes*. If she loves Belarus so much why isn't she singing this in Belarussian? It's one of those pop/traditional music fusions. I know fire usually makes things better, but I've just found an exception to that rule. It does not make this song any better whatsoever. Well we've learned that Anastasia Vinnikova loves Belarus.

Latvia. It's Latvian Justin Bieber, only more tattooed. Now is he saying "Angels in disguise" or "Angels in the skies", or both? I wonder why they're wearing bowties? Did they lose a bet or something?

Denmark. This is some kind of ballad. It's not horrible; the lead singer has silly hair though. Maybe Jedward styled it for him before he went on stage. He's running away, maybe he doesn't want to be there... nope he's change his mind.

Last song is Ireland. Jedward. Go away. I hope this isn't Ireland actually trying to actually copy that episode of Father Ted. Apparently these people are popular in England so I won't be surprised if they get 12 points from the UK.

19 countries many languages. Too bad nearly every song is in English.

Will Stefan Raab redefine the second again tonight? Find out after we see snippets of all the songs again.

Things that don't go together. Or Stefan Raab puts his foot in his mouth.

And now we get to see classical break dancing. Watching this makes me wonder if ballet was originally break dancing for that generation that became gentrified. The techno sound does make it better. Just the piano gives the impression that these guys are trying to do ballet and failing at it. Now they really are just showing us ballet. Got to admit they are talented though. The famous Toccata and Fugue in D minor, too bad they added a bunch of rubbish when there are plenty of good versions of it around. And now they're done.

More Big 5 stuff. Did I just see Johnny Depp in the Spanish clip? Italy is crap, which is sad considering the type of music, and Lena is singing a song that I'm sure she knows she isn't going to win.

Estonian glee is through. Romania. Well it was catchy. Moldova? Really? But their hats are so pointy. Ireland. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCKKK!!!!! Bosnia and Herzegovina. Good on them. Denmark. Not really surprising. Austria. God. Ukraine. More sand tomorrow. And now for the second runner up Slovenia. Which I could see would get through. And that means our Miss Eurovision Semi Final 2 winner is Sweden. Which is expected since that's what they do.

So it look like Israel won't be getting easy points from Germany and although Anastasia Vinnikova loves Belarus it turns out Europe doesn't.

No comments: